How to Network Like Casanova
by Kathy Seaton
Assuming you’ve read hundreds of articles on the virtues of networking, we won’t waste time trying to convince you of its importance. Think of this post more as a means to assess your current perspective on networking, and perhaps even your prowess.
So, pretend you’re on a date.
Just like dating, if you’re networking you obviously have an agenda, whether it is to sell something, find a job or meet new people (or get that second date). That’s cool; the people you meet likely have an agenda too. Here are some simple tips that may help improve your game.
Stop talking; ask questions.
Not only will you be a more enjoyable companion, you will also gain insight into someone’s unique needs and desires. Networking, like dating, is about building trust and putting yourself out there in the hopes that a person will somehow make your life better. May sound a little selfish put that way, but as we all know, you have to give a little to keep a good thing. Actively look for ways you may be able to help this person achieve their goals.
Don’t burn bridges before they’re built; stay open.
Do your best to stay in the moment and be polite, even if you don’t want a second date. If you become an avid networker, you never know when your paths may cross again. It’s easy to pass judgment and assume what people can and cannot offer you… in fact, it’s nearly impossible to avoid. Resist; at least for the length of your interaction. Instead, try to find things you like about that person and be willing to share them, if appropriate. If it helps, pretend you’re talking with the next Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, or whatever influential and wildly successful individual you can think of!
“Let’s stay in touch!” (… maybe)
We all say it, but what does this look like for a proactive networker? Were you listening? Honestly, nothing can replace attentive listening and it also fuels the follow up! For those you’d like to stay connected to, try dropping a line referencing what you two talked about, or something you think may interest them based on what you learned from your exchange. You have to be profound, but a quick note lets them know that you value the connection and would like to stay in touch.
It’s a numbers game.
You’ve heard the old saw: you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Well, that saying has some truth to it. As your network grows, you’ll have a greater sense of what you’re looking for (or NOT looking for), while increasing the number of meaningful exchanges that bring you closer to your goals.
This should be fun!
Even if the objective is to elicit another’s time, services, support etc., there’s no reason it can’t be enjoyable. In fact, more sincere and fun interactions will likely yield more lasting relationships and ultimately better results. Pulling from Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, in order to get people to do what you want, they must first want to do it (and it’s your job to get them to care).
Here’s a brief clip, in which Andie (Kate Hudson) has just intentionally left her purse at her boyfriend Ben’s (Matthew Mcconaughey) apartment after a first date to ensure a follow up. Clearly, both are aware that the other has an agenda, but they sure know how to make each other smile while getting what they want. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxLuG0BYYwE (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)