The Fall From Glory: The Day I Lost My VP Job

by Kathy Seaton

I’ve worked for a major toy manufacturer for over 14 years now. I advanced through the ranks from a project manager up to a senior manager very quickly. I worked on the most successful, highest grossing brand. I had several managers reporting to me and a team of 30 talented individuals supporting my every move. My team did well, they grew professionally, and many of them promoted, mostly because of my leadership and mentoring. I was lauded for my vision, strategic planning, and problem solving skills. Pretty good right? I was in the perfect position.

Yet when my boss resigned I was passed over for the job. And on that day that I found out that an outsider took my vice president job, I left the office early and I was livid. How the heck did this happen to me? That was my job. I earned it, I was primed for it. What did I do wrong? Was I so full of myself that others really thought that I couldn’t handle the higher level position? What would my husband think, would he think I was a loser? What would my team think, would they talk behind my back and laugh at me?

All of these questions swirled through my head. And outside of losing my job, this was by far my worst experience in my career. I was embarrassed. I panicked. This shouldn’t happen to me—because I’m good at my job.

I tried to figure out my next move. As I reflected, I thought that maybe I’m being “told” that there’s a learning curve issue, some political posturing that I wasn’t aware of, or maybe that I truly just wasn’t ready. It could be a number of things but I realized that my reaction to all of this needed to be measured. I couldn’t freak out and stand on a table with my gold fish threatening to leave, hoping that someone would come with me.

I’m sharing this with the hope that my story can help you. I did a lot of things wrong and then I made a plan to move forward.

This is what I didn’t do—which probably caused me to get passed over.

1. I didn’t play the game.

I’m not an extravert by any means. In fact, I just like to do my own thing. I think I’m good at my job and that alone makes me free to avoid socializing or networking during or after work hours. I didn’t go to after work functions. I didn’t have cocktails with the boss. I didn’t go to group lunches or attend birthday or anniversary gatherings. When I traveled, I snuck back to my hotel right after dinner.

I was being patient and waiting. And the waiting place is the worst place to be. I made a huge mistake. And one that I hope I will learn from. If you want to climb the corporate ladder to the executive ranks, you’ve got to learn to play the corporate game. Everyone around me is playing the game and reaping the benefits.

2. I didn’t market myself internally.

My team, under my leadership, is unstoppable. I’d like to think that I have a lot to do with that. I racked up accomplishments, but I didn’t taut them. Again, I kept to myself, and I kept my successes private. Another huge mistake.

You have to market yourself as much as possible to your boss, your peers, and your direct reports. You’re only as good as the last thing that you’ve done, and if you don’t remind anyone of what it was that you did, it will get swept under the rug and left behind with the next project.

3. I didn’t build a relationship with my boss’ boss.

I could have taken the time to ask my boss’ boss to mentor me. I know that he had done the same with some of my peers. But I was afraid to ask. I was afraid that he wouldn’t even know my name—which is ridiculous now thinking back.

So the learning here? Don’t be afraid, ask. I bet he would have given me some really great direction and advice. Although it might not have primed me for the promotion, it would have built my confidence.

4. I didn’t ask for the job.

In fact, no one, other than my husband, even knew that I wanted the VP job. So why would I get promoted when I didn’t even throw my name into the ring. My boss isn’t a psychic and yours isn’t either.

You have to make sure that your boss knows that you’re ready to promote. And you have to make sure that you’re driving toward that goal when it comes review time. Set goals that you can accomplish and then over exceed them. Bosses like overachievers.

Now this is what I did to get over my loss and move on.

1. I allowed myself a short-lived pity party.

Yes, I admit it, I felt bad for myself, really bad for myself. So bad that I cried to my husband, drank a few too many martinis, and withdrew even more than my usual introverted self for a few days. I was mad and I needed to let it out. I knew that it would do no good to go to work mad and let everyone see those emotions. So I allowed myself the time that I needed to be upset.

2. I talked to my HR representative.

I decided that it was a good idea to tell my HR gal that I was interested in promoting. Although I missed this opportunity, I didn’t want to miss the next one. And not surprisingly, she told me to do what I didn’t do in the first place, tell my boss and everyone around me that I was ready for the next challenge, something more.

3. I had an honest discussion with a trusted colleague.

And I found out that my style can be a little harsh and that people can sometimes be intimidated by me. She suggested that I back off a bit and be more aware of how I interact with my team. So I start listening and paying attention. I forced myself to be aware and in the moment.

4. I updated my resume.

I thought initially that maybe I should quit. Then I realized that was the worst path I could have taken. I have a husband and two kids that I need to help take care of. Not to mention, my job is highly sought after. My salary is amazing and the benefits are even better. I couldn’t get a another job easily that could match that. But I did think it was important to update my resume. It was a good exercise to document my achievements and it proved to remind me that I’ve done a tremendous amount of good for myself, and the company.

5. I looked for a lateral move.

I really stepped out of my comfort zone, actually talked to some people around the office, and found another department that needed a new senior manager. I was pigeon holed on my current brand and I needed broader experience. So I asked to be moved out of my group to another group in the same senior manager role. My new boss and team is great. I’m learning an entirely new business and I’m challenged. I’m not sure that this will lead to a promotion, but I know that I’m building my repertoire, my confidence, and my resume.

Without doing all of this I couldn’t have moved on. I had to accept what happened because I couldn’t undo it. I already mentioned that I was being patient and waiting around. Well, this experience knocked me over the head and I’ll never wait around again. This journey gave me the power to make new choices and better decisions. And I hope that my story can help you find new focus and your next new challenge.